The Week in Review 001

So, just like Oprah, I'm going to have "The Week in Review Fridays." This will consist of me telling you my opinions on this weeks headlines. Right about now my mother is thinking, "Oh no. Heeeeere we go." And you know what? She's right. So let's get going.

#1- The Michael Phelps Apology:

I'm sorry but if I have to hear this poor guy apologize for partying it up just one more time I'm going to personally send him a six pack of Bud. He just got done representing America on the world's stage with grace and integrity. God forbid he scratch an itch and try what most 15 year olds do every weekend in high school! Phelps never had time for a girlfriend, probably never went to his prom, and for sure never crashed a college kegger. I think the guy is entitled to a little debauchery. And now Kelloggs revokes his sponsorship? What a load of hypocritical bullshit. Hey Kelloggs, did you take away Michael Jordan's sponsorship when he cheated on his wife or got in trouble with his little gambling habit? The true ass hole in this situation is the guy who had the chance to party with Phelps and then turned around and sold him out by selling those pics to the tabloids.

#2- The insane Nadya Suleman:

Okay. Normally I don't give a hoot about what people do with their own bodies. It's quite frankly none of my business. But this...this...this is the most sick woman I've ever seen. Delusional doesn't even cut it. DCFS, really, please knock on her door and take those kids to homes where they can be raised by sane people. I know so many people who want children who are responsible, loving and selfless adults. It breaks my heart that this woman is fulfilling her own weird fetish rather than thinking of what's best for the poor kids she just birthed. And now she is looking for endorsements from companies and donations from the public? She thinks she's going to be the next John and Kate + 8! Have you seen her website? Don't get me started on the taxpayers of California having to foot the bill for her!

Memo to Crazywoman: Dogs have 8 puppies at a time, not humans.

#3- The Stimulus Package:

I can't imagine a more shitacious job in the world right now than being President of the United States. Don't get me wrong, I'm psyched Obama is in office, but I do hope people understand that he's trying to fix some pretty huge problems and cut him a little slack. Already he's done more in a month than Bush did his entire presidency. The problem is congress doesn't understand economics and all the economists are corrupt. So who is supposed to really fix this mess? Oy. Its gonna be a while until things are back to normal.

I'm gonna go make cookies.


Comment away! I'd love to know your thoughts!

Confession...

I'm a baby. 

And never has it been more obvious that I need to grow up than when my parents came to visit this week from Chicago. 

You see, I have the worlds best parents. They are the most loving, the most hilarious, the most generous and the most thoughtful people in the world. And besides Brett, they know me better than anyone in this whole world.

I began counting down the minutes to their arrival from the second they told me they were visiting. It was nothing short of heaven watching my dad make Oliver laugh in ways I've never seen before. He must have boinked himself on the head with the newspaper 300+ times because with every boink Oliver burst into an endless fit of giggles. And, at Whole Foods, he made every squash, banana and carrot into a new and exciting friend for Oliver to meet. 

My mom was no slacker in the grandparent department either. She crawled on the floor, danced around the apartment, gave endless kisses and read Oliver every book in the apartment. My favorite was when Oliver watched her drink her coffee. He was so interested! 

Let's just say, they've got the grandparent gig down perfectly.

Here's the thing... while I was so obviously excited for my parents to see how much Oliver has grown, I actually secretly couldn't wait to see them for my own selfish reasons. 

I desperately wanted a giant bear hug from my dad and to have my mom play with my hair. 

I fully realize this sounds crazy because:

1) I'm 30-something years old.

2) I'm a wife.

3) I'm four months into being a mom myself.

But you see, that's just the plain old truth. I just couldn't wait to see my mommy and daddy. 

In fact my favorite time of the whole visit was after we put Oliver to sleep and I got to hang out in my apartment with them. You know why? Because I became the baby again.  

They left yesterday. And yes, I cried, like...well, a baby. I really pray I can be the kind of mama to Oliver that my parents have always been to me.

I know...I've clearly got some growing up to do.

I love me some butterflies...

Indulge me.

I couldn't help but videotape Ollie's morning routine with his beloved butterfly.

Waking up is hard to do...

I am not a morning person. You see, I love, love, love, to sleep.

In fact, sleeping is one area of my life I have achieved rock star status in.

Growing up, I would be in bed by 10pm and could easily sleep until noon. College, forget it. I didn't even think about scheduling a class before 10am and on weekends I could sleep until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. 

Sleep is good for your skin, good for stress, and good for your waistline.

Well, since having Oliver I have risen every morning at 6:45 am Monday through Monday. I won't lie, the first couple of months were rough. Really rough. Waking was nothing short of painful. However at about 3 months it became clear that Mr. Oliver had inherited my sleeping gene. He's a great little sleeper and I thank god every night when we put him down at 8 and he rises like clockwork at 6:45 am the next morning.  

The funny thing is every day, 6:45 am to 7 am has become my most favorite time of day. It is during those 15 minutes that Oliver lays in his crib and talks to himself. The noises he makes are beyond precious and I sit there and listen and thank god for everything I have.

I am forever a morning person- no coffee needed - just my Oliver.

The cost of dinner and a movie...

Dinner on a Saturday night...$70.

(We went to Roc. It's this cute Italian restaurant in our neighborhood with the best grilled calamari salad you've ever had.  I can't even tell you how nice it was to have someone else cook besides me. It was a really special treat.)

2 movie tickets to He's just not that into you...$24.

(This movie was the worst movie ever. I knew it was going to suck and that I was going to be bored out of my mind but I had to see a movie where absolutely no thinking was required. It was just the mood I was in. Usually, I am so not interested in seeing women portrayed as such insipid, pathetic creatures no matter how much of a sappy ending it may have. The cast was way too old and the movie was way too long. I suggest waiting until TNT buys the rights cause even HBO ain't going to waste their money on this one.)

1 popcorn and 1 large coke to eat during movie...$12.

(You need to have something to snack on during a movie. Especially in a movie as bad as this one.)

5 hours for babysitter from 6pm to 11pm...$90.

(Don't get me started on the $18 per hour rate. When I babysat in high school I made $8 an hour. Someone please tell me when the cost of babysitting rose so much? Basically, we're paying someone to eat our food and watch television in our apartment while the baby sleeps. I told her over the phone we were willing to pay $15 an hour, based on what other parents in my neighborhood pay their sitters, and after I met her and finalized our plans she told me her rate was actually $20 an hour! WTF! I told her I'd be willing to do $18 but no more. While I liked her, I'm not going to use her again because I do not like the whole bait and switch move. Right?)

Dinner for babysitter...$10.

(She told me her usual clients leave her menus of all the Tribeca restaurants and she calls and orders in. My eyeballs popped out at this one as every restaurant in our area is expensive. I decided to avoid this one and go to the grocery store and stock the freezer with 5 different frozen meals and let her pick which one she wanted. I also happened to have made amazing brownies the night before so she could have something for dessert too.)

Cab ride for babysitter home at 11:00pm...$10.

(This one I felt compelled to do. I can't have a 40-something year old female leaving my apartment at 11pm at night without cab fare. If something happened to her I'd feel absolutely horrible. I remember when I babysat in high school, the father would always drive me home or at least make sure I got to my car okay.)

Saturday Night out in NYC without baby...$216.

(Yes, you read that right...$216 for dinner and a movie. Crazy? Yes. Especially right now. But I will say, it was really nice to spend time with Brett. We'll do it again next month.  But we will definitely see a better movie.)

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