I thought I had seen it all.
I thought after 17 months, I had handled every gross thing that had come my way.
• Spit up for 6 months? Yup.
• The colic for four months? Done.
• Bloody gashes on the side of the head? Check.
• An explosive code brown that forced me to sterilize the apartment? Been there.
• Four months straight of boogers? Finally past that.
But yesterday, Oliver brought gross to a whole new level.
I was knee deep in vomit and could not find my way out.
See I've never dealt with vomit. Not once.
Even in my college years I never hurled.
I was about to snap a pic of Oliver covered in chunks, but I thought that would be crossing the line.
I felt very badly for myself. My husband, on the other hand (who happened to be out of the state during the vomit assault), thought I should have felt worse for Oliver. But Oliver had no fever, no runny nose, no nothing. In fact the spunky little chunk-spewer spent the afternoon dancing his butt off and running wild through the apartment. So I thought I clearly won the "who-to-feel-worse-for" category hands down. After all, Oliver's wasn't the one who cleaned up the floor. He didn't have to rinse out his clothes. And he didn't wash his hair three times yesterday. I did. I did. I did.
After putting him to bed I bee-lined for the shower. There was nothing more I wanted to do than get the smell of Pedialyte chunk off my hands.
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than vomit.
Now...I've seen it all.
3 years ago
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Ewwww grosses me out too. My son got me last year while I was standing in line at CVS trying to get his prescription for antibiotics filled.
ReplyDeleteYes, vomit blows chunks. Not just because it's awful to have to handle, but when you get to experience the all-night every-15-minute vomiting reflex that you are helpless against, it takes to you a new level of desperation as a parent. So, actually relieved to read that Oliver was happily vomiting on you. It may not get grosser than this, but it can get worse.
ReplyDeletepraying to the vomit gods: if you never visit me again, I will do almost anything in the world.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't understand new parents sometimes. ;-)
ReplyDeleteEveryone always wants to teach their child how to eat with utensils, or poop in the potty, but NO ONE really worries about the most important thing you can teach your kid. Vomit goes IN the toilet or in a trash can. NEVER on the floor and NEVER on another person!
I'm thinking I haven't had to clean up chunks in a good 20 yrs! My kids are 28, 27, 25, 24, 8, & 6.
Teach your kids early! The floor and mom are No Vomit Zones!
Just be thankful it wasn't in a car. Before we moved out, Theo got car sick every single time we took a day trip. The smell was so bad that it usually set off his brother and sister! I'm laughing as I think back to my hubbie's horrified face at the time, but I hear ya..it's gross.
ReplyDelete