Mar 13, 2009


Well, it has been a slow/fast week for me. I mean slow because I left my brain in St. Thomas. I mean fast because besides bumping into Jennifer Connelly at Whole Foods time passed me by this week. I got very little done and yet I am exhausted.

It sounds insane but Oliver is holding a major grudge against Brett and I for leaving the beach and coming back to NYC. Oliver, usually a fabulous sleeper, decided to fully wake up at 4 am and scream straight through until 7am. Nothing was wrong with him at all. I checked. He was dry, he wasn't hungry, he wasn't teething, he just wanted to play. We, seeing as it was 4 in the morning, just wanted to sleep. We are believers in Ferberization, so I had to grab my pillow and blanket and sleep on the couch because my heart can't bear the crying. And that's the story behind the scoreboard.

Doublebanker: You win my contest. Not only were you funny, but you were also the first to respond. I appreciate the support! You rock!

Nicole: Totally possible. In fact, I think Oliver wants to crawl so badly that when he realizes he can't he gets truly frustrated. Once he gets going we're in big trouble!

Porkstar- though your funny, you're sick.

Mom- I can't wait to see you next week!

So without a moment further, here is the week in review.
Please agree with me comment away.

1- Bernie Madoff: I want to be clear. This guy is a complete crook and should rot in jail for robbing people blind. But I do not understand why sooooo many intelligent people put every cent of theirs in one place. Haven't they heard the term diversify? Have they ever heard of banks? Bonds? When investing in the market, you're supposed to be aggressive when you're young, and grow conservative over the years. I hate Madoff for ripping off so many older people who were convinced they didn't know better when they really did. I also hate him because he ruined my morning walk yesterday because my neighborhood was filled with helicopters from every news station, reporters asking passerby's their thoughts, and angry victims waiting for the judges sentence.

2- Rhianna and her beater boyfriend: I don't know how else to say this, so pardon my french. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE SHE WENT BACK TO HIM. Yes, they are both kids. (He's 19 and she's 21.) But I swear if any guy I ever dated laid a hand on me, not only would he be less two balls but I would never EVER go back to him. What's just as pathetic is there is a poll out saying many female high school students think RiRi deserved to be beat up because she probably said something to set him off. WTF! Where are her friends, managers and family telling her NO NO NO? Memo to Mama's: Teach your daughters to have self-esteem.

3-The Best Revenge: Melissa did a fabulous job stepping in for Nancy O'Dell on Dancing with the Stars. What's his name and big-eyed Molly are soooo green with envy. Though I'm not sure what Melissa will do after hanging out with a bunch of d-listers, at least she looks fantastic and feels better after such a public humiliation. I hope she wins.

4-Fun Fact: This is the second month in a row that we have a Friday the 13th!

Have a wonderful weekend!
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Mar 11, 2009

Scoreboard competition...

Think you're funny? Prove it.

1: Come up with a hilarious story explaining the picture above.
2: Post it in the comments section below.

You could win a million dollars the satisfaction
of being the funniest person in the blogosphere.

I wish I had something to giveaway, but mainly,
I'm looking to laugh my ass off.

I'll announce the winner and their winning caption
next Tuesday with a shout out to their blog.

Don't be shy!

Mar 10, 2009

And we're back...

It never ceases to amaze me how much your ass life changes when you have a baby. In fact, there really isn't a single aspect of life that remains the same. Sure, you still shower, sleep, watch television, talk to friends and take vacations but how you accomplish these things changes entirely.

For example, I shower in 4 minutes flat, sleep with one eye open, watch television on fast forward and talk to friends after 8 pm. But these things pale in comparison to how much our vacations have changed.

Previous vacations had revelry sounding around 11am give or take an hour. Not anymore. This vacation, we rose at 7am as we have every day for the past 5 months.

Brett and I used to bake in the sun from noon to 2pm. This vacation we hung out in our suite playing scrabble while Oliver napped from noon to 2pm.

Usually I swim all day in peaceful solitude in the ocean. This time, I hung out with other moms at the kiddie pool in knee-high water dishing diaper stores.

Brett and I have taken some spectacular vacations. And despite the dramatic changes in our lives, it was the best vacation I've ever taken. I laughed out loud seeing Oliver in his sunglasses and bathing suit and I cherished introducing him to the sand and water.

I can't wait until our next one!