Feb 27, 2009

And now...

And without wasting another minute, let's delve right into this week's juiciness! 

Remember to comment!  If you don't take part in the conversation, you're not allowed to have an opinion.

1: Heath Ledger's Oscar win: Did you see Batman? I did. Heath's performance was so far above and beyond any of my expectations. It was genius. I cried my eyes out when his family accepted the Oscar on behalf of Matilda. My heart weeps for his baby when she realizes how he overdosed and threw his life away amazingly talented and loved her daddy was.

2: Obama addresses congress:  Less than halfway through his first 100 days in office Obama hosted a non-official state of the union. Wowsah does this President have kahoonahs made of steal  guts! I don't think anyone else but Obama could deliver such shitty news in a more positive way. I wish I had his gift. I kept wondering through the entire address how Georgie-poo must have felt watching from his living room in the state you couldn't pay me to live in  Texas. Everytime Obama emphasized how irresponsible and glutenous the previous government had acted do you think Georgie-poo felt any pangs of vomit guilt? He should. After all, he did break the world have a just a bit to do with where we are now.

3: Octo-mom: I am seriously so sick of hearing about this woman I can hardly believe I'm giving her a place in this list. The bright side to this story is that the hospital is now deciding whether or not they can ethically allow Whacko Nadia to bring home all the babies. She must be able to prove she can care for them in addition to her other 6 children. After seeing how she keeps her pig sty home that could very well be impossible. It's laughable she has refused network interviews yet accepts a sit down with fake doctor for psychos Dr. Phil. Can we just stop giving her attention? I promise this is the last time I mention her.

4: Slumdog Kids:  Those adorable kids from the movie Slumdog Millionaire were handpicked from the slums of India by director Danny Boyle to play childhood versions of the movie's main characters. During the 30 days they shot their part for the movie they received a small daily stipend for their services. Well, yesterday the kiddies returned to India and were received by thousands of slumdogs as national heros. Danny Boyle and the Indian government have jointly financed the kiddies education at an exclusive private school. And when they turn 18 they will have access to a trust fund that Boyle has set up on their behalf.  That's such exploitation great. Very after the fact noble. I can't decide if it's because the film has brought in over $100 million I'm not even including potential DVD and soundtrack sales  or because it won the Oscar for best picture that made Boyle so generous. If Millionaire didn't win would Boyle have let those kids return to the slum? Did he not learn anything after shooting there? Sure it's nice that they'll now have an education, but how about health care, allowance and a year-long trip to Disney World for them and their famlies to go along with it?

5: The National Defishit: Umm. Need I say more? Just how many zero's is in a trillion? TGIFF.  

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Feb 26, 2009

Slow down, you move to fast...

When planning to have kids, there's a ton of things people tell you: being pregnant is fun, giving birth blows, and when you see you're baby for the first time you'll fall in love harder than you ever thought possible.

There's also a ton of things people don't tell you. Well, I'm not going to spoil the fun for all you parents-to-be out there, but I will share with you the one word that has forced me to reconsider my entire life and the way I conduct it. Epidural. Patience.

You see, I am not a patient person by nature not by a long shot.

I've been in advertising for ten years which is a lick-ity split, chop-chop, make-it-happen industry. I've split my adult years living in Chicago and New York which are hardly epicenters for zen-minded people. When I want food, I get it delivered in 10 minutes. When I want to watch a movie, I order it On-Demand. When I want to shop, I walk 5 minutes to Soho or I log onto shopbop.com. There is simply no reason to be patient. 

Patience, according to Webster's online Dictionary means:  bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint.

Since having Oliver, I've realized patience is the single most important quality a parent can have and also the single hardest quality to maintain. I'm not just talking patience when your baby has colic. That's cake.

I'm talking patience when you have the flu and you have to get up at 3am to comfort your teething baby despite your head ready to explode from snot. 

I'm talking patience when putting together crazy toys like exe-saucers and jumpers with all the buttons, batteries, straps and springs. 

I'm talking patience while in the grocery store checkout line and your baby decides to leave you a smelly, little treasure in his diaper. 

I'm talking patience when getting peed on right before you're about to go out for the night. 

I'm talking patience with every person and their mother who has an opinion on everything you do. 

I've gotten loads better than I used to be which isn't hard considering I had none to begin with. Today, I make dinner and marinate chicken over night. I let people pass me while walking down the street. And, after asking people how they're doing, I actually listen to the answer. I just don't see the point always being in such a hurry. 

I've got a few precious years with Oliver and I figure it's more than okay to simply take my time.  

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Thank you Oliver for teaching me the true meaning of patience. If it wasn't for you, life could have, and probably would have, passed me by.

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Feb 25, 2009

Dreaming of dreaming...

This isn't going to be my best posting.  

My brain hurts, my body is weak and I'm starving because I was too tired to cook dinner.

You see last night, if you lived in the apartment next door to us, you would have wanted to kick our asses had real sympathy for Brett and me.

In short, at barely 5 months, Oliver is sprouting teeth.  

And, to make a painful situation even worse, he's getting both bottom-front teeth at the same time. The right one broke the gum line last Friday, and the left one began to rear its ugly head on Sunday morning. I always knew he is the best, cutest, sweetest and smartest baby in the entire solar system is an over-achiever but this is crazy!

Unfortunately for Brett and I, teething means we're back to sleepless nights. This is particularly bad news for me because I require 9 hours of sleep a night to  have clear skin function as a polite and decent member of society. If I'm sleep deprived I can keep it together for Oliver, but I can't promise if you bump into me on the street I'll be civil. I might even curse you out. But it's really not my fault so I apologize in advance.

There isn't much we can do beyond the teething rings, washcloths in the freezer, and using our own knuckles as chew toys. I'm hoping it's a fast process. As is the random asshole who bumps into me on the street.

I'd like to give a special shout out to Jill at Scary Mommy who suggested I try mini-frozen bagels to help soothe my little man. She has a fantastic blog that I look forward to reading every day!

Feb 24, 2009

Have picture, will travel...

I accidentally let my Passport expire last May.

It was the worst timing because I was 5 months pregnant with Oliver when I realized. The last thing I wanted was to have a fat-faced pregnant picture prove my citizenship for the next ten years, so I waited. I waited 8 months. My face only got more beautiful fatter the last 4 months of pregnancy and I had to wait at least 4 months to once again see my chin and cheekbones.

Now that the bloat finally disappeared and more importantly now that we're going to St. Thomas next Monday, I really needed to renew my passport. I blew out my hair, put on some lip gloss and dressed in a solid colored, v-neck top. Suddenly I was yearbook picture ready. On my way there I called my mom surprise, surprise. She asked if I was getting Oliver a passport picture too. Well hello! I completely forgot about Oliver! Luckily, he's a natural beauty and wouldn't need a blow-out or gloss to look fabulous. I was also lucky that he was in a smiley mood.

At the picture place, I went first. After eight a few tries I had eeeeked out a passable picture. Then it was Oliver's turn. I don't know what happened, but as soon as he took one look at the photographer his smiley-ness went right out the window. He was a sketchy man and babies can definitely sense sketchy people. Anyway, we got the picture. Not his best by a long shot, but it will have to do. I figure it'll provide good entertainment when I show it to his fiance when he's older and we can all get a good laugh:

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Feb 23, 2009

Looking good, or not...

To know me is to know how much I love movies. Even though Godfather, Amelie, Airplane and Annie Hall are my all time favorites, I can literally watch any movie a million times over. I love the actors, the plots, the sets. I love Brad Pitt the magic.

The Oscars is a show I look forward to every year because I have accurately predicted the winner in most categories for several years now. But, this year is different. I'm a new mom. And as a new mom, I haven't seen a single Oscar nominated film. New moms don't have time to go to the movies. New moms watch old movies on HBO, Showtime and Bravo.

But this doesn't mean I can't take part in the red carpet, pre-show activities. Here's my wrap-up of the 5 people who I thought rocked the fashion world and the 5 people who should be ashamed of themselves.

We'll start off with the worst dressed because I think I should end all my blogs with positivity:


1- Vanessa Hudgens
. That mermaid dress made her look like a bitch witch and not all that fashion-saavy. Her loser boyfriend could have used a haircut too.

2- Anne Hathaway. I don't know if she's a vampire what it is about her but she scares me. She's so freakishly pale. If she's allergic to sunlight Vitamin D can't she get a spray tan or something?

3- Mickey Rourke. Seriously? Are you trying to ruin your life again? I don't care how awesomely you might have "acted" in your movie that I'll never pay to see, I hate you.

4- Philip Seymor Hoffman. Is he trying to steal "worst dressed" from Mickey?

5- Miley Cyrus. I'm so sad for her. She's such a cute girl who means well, but she accidentally dressed up like a disco ball.

Honorable Mention for Tackiness:

ABC Network: Really? You had to cut to a shot of Brad and Angie while Jen was presenting? And twice? Double Tacky. Shame on you.


1- Heidi Klum. Her jewelry alone had me drooling like my babe Oliver. He's getting his first tooth so let me tell you, that's a lot of drool.

2-Robert Downey Jr. I never, ever, ever thought I'd say this, but he looked mighty handsome.

3- Natalie Portman. She's just so fresh and lovely.

4- Angelina. Breathtaking. It's very possible, however, that it's all downhill for her after last night. I mean, she had to have "peaked" last night because a human can't get much more gorgeous than that. For most of us mere mortals, "peaking" happens in high school or college. At least Angie hit her peak working the red carpet, hoping for an Oscar, mothering 14 6 children all while being married to Brad Pitt and in fabulous earrings. I can't wait to see how ugly she's going to get.

5-Kate Winslet. Wonderful, eloquent and elegant.

Honorable Mentions:

Marissa Tomei: Loved the dress, but didn't think the overall picture was enough to crack my top 5.

Thoughts? Did I miss anyone?

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