First Day of Pre-Pre-School.

Today I dropped my baby toddler off at pre-pre-school.

What is that you ask? Pre-pre-school?

It is what Manhattanites do with their 16 month old babies to get them started early. It's really not a big deal. Three hours, Monday through Thursday, in a Montessori environment.

Last week we had parents orientation and the teachers encouraged us to say a quick, simple and happy good-bye during the drop-off period. It would make the separation process easier for them and isn't that what we all want?

All last week I was gearing myself up, practicing my good-bye:

"Oh Oliver!

You're going to have the best time at school!

Mommy loves you and will see you in a few hours!

Have fun! Bye-bye!"

Well, this morning as I threw Oliver in the stroller I got a lump in my throat that could not be cleared by several A-hems. During the three block walk to school my nose suddenly started to run. And, when I lifted Oliver out of his stroller and took off his shoes and jacket a wet substance started trickling down my cheeks.

By the time I brought my little boy over to the movement floor where all of the teachers and aides were happily welcoming new students I was full out bawling.

What was Oliver doing, you might wonder, while I was going hysterical? He was looking at me...laughing. He then turned around and ran right towards the ball pit.

I turned around too, sunglasses already on to conceal the tears, but the erratic huffy breathing was a dead give away for the sobs that I cried all the way home.

I know Oliver will be fine. He's that sort of baby... social, passionate, and wonderful to be around. It's me that I worry about because I have many more of these days to get through: Nursery School, Kindergarten, elementary school, Jr. High, High School, omg... COLLEGE!

Can my heart handle this? No, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Let's hope I do better at school tomorrow.