Jan 1, 2009

Love at first site? Not exactly.

It was week 38 and I told unborn Oliver that his lease had expired and it was time for him to vacate the premises.  You can imagine my surprise when a few hours later he packed his bags and let me know he was on his way.

My water broke in the afternoon.  After a taxi cab, police escort and ambulance ride up the FDR, I delivered Oliver exactly 3.5 hours later.  From the get go, the contractions came 3 minutes apart and by the time we got to the hospital, I was 10 cms and ready to push.  25 minutes later, Oliver was flopped on my tummy with as much of a dazed expression on his face as I had on mine.

I looked at him and waited to be overwhelmed with love and warmth and tears, but that never came.  I actually didn't know what to do or feel.  I was trying to reconcile in my head what just happened and for some reason I just couldn't connect the dots no matter how hard I tried.

He was inside of me 2 minutes ago and now he's in my arms. 

He was inside of me 15 minutes ago and now Brett is holding him.

He was inside of me last night and now my mom is talking baby talk to him.

He was inside of me 48 hours ago and now he's in his crib in our apartment.

Two weeks later I woke up in the middle of the night.  Brett was asleep and so was Oliver.  I tip toed over to his crib to look at him.

He was so tiny.  He was snoring little baby snores.  It was the sweetest snoring I ever heard and my heart filled with such overwhelming feelings I didn't even realize I was crying until I tasted my tears.

It wasn't love at first site, but I know it's definitely love.
And everyday, it grows.

1 comment:

  1. It's the most amazing thing, isn't it? Looking forward to catching up with you via this blog and seeing what I've missed over the last 10 years!!!


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