Feb 2, 2009

Why I hate Beyonce...

I live in Tribeca across the street from a government building.  They can fully see into my apartment and I can fully see into their offices. Only a couple times has this posed a problem since we're out of the apartment while they're at work, and by the time Brett or I come home, they've left for the day.

I know you really shouldn't put a baby in front of a tv, and well, I tried to keep him off it but Oliver like his mama, loves to watch the tube. Every morning, while I'd rather watch the Today Show, I put on VH1 so we have music in the apartment to play to. And well, that's when Beyonce happened.  

Have you seen her latest video for "All the Single Ladies?" She dances, no... she rips it up. And Oliver has an absolute shit fit every time that video comes on. He smiles, screams, laughs and kicks right along with the music.

Well, I was having so much fun watching Oliver kick and dance, I thought maybe if I knew some of the dance, I could make him laugh without the television on . So I rewound our DVR a few... 5... 6... or 9 times and tried to get me some of them Beyonce moves.  

I finally threw in the towel because really, who can move like her and even more so I wanted to shower. I turned around and that's when I saw 4 dickwads in the government building standing in an office window watching me, laughing their asses off.


The only thing I could do was flip them the double bird, grab Oliver and run into the other room.   

Fuck New York and fuck Beyonce. 


  1. Can't imagine my privacy being disrupted to this extent... I would have trouble looking out a window that look into another persons space. A least they didn't catch you after your shower!

    Cats walk on water?

  2. HAHAHA!!! I often wonder if my neighbors see me dancing around with my kids in the kitchen and wonder what they must think :-)

  3. This is so funny because:

    1: Beyonce has mass appeal to the 4 and under set apparently. Ava freakin LOVES that song

    2: I think on you, in high school, dancing on t.v.!!! wink wink

    3. I heart you

    xoxox K

  4. That image has me cracking up!!!!! I love you for getting so into it. :)

    And Beyonce totally gets all kids moving--- it's hysterical. She could totally do a kids dance album- it would be HUGE!

  5. Let em laugh. They're just jealous that they're working and you're having fun at home. Dicks!

    My 3 year old daughter LOVES that song, and it's a little uncomfortable for me when she (my daughter) starts singin 'all the single ladies.' Umm, wait a few years, my darling. Ugh.

  6. SO funny how beyonce appeals to kids! I would never had thought that!

  7. And here's the kicker - you were paying those guys to laugh at you. Hurts more now, doesn't it?

  8. Haha! I always wanted to live in NY but I probably shouldn't because I have quite a habit of cutting a rug when no one is home!!

  9. OMG, you cracked me up!!!! You should keep dancing like no one is watching.

  10. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I found your blog from...let's see...a bloggy friend I was visiting and now can't remember who. I think those guys need a life or a job where they actually have to WORK instead of peeping at you.

    I hate Beyonce because I'm just not getting what the hell that thing is on her wrist in the video. Is she a robot? Is it jewelry? What, what, what?

  11. I don't know what it is! It's like a freaky michael jackson glove or something! too funny!

  12. please tell me you weren't doing the crotch twist/thrust in a leotard for all the government men to see. although even if you did, i'm sure you were better than this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJlPEHL85Ig

    (and i'm with oliver: i totally love beyonce. guilty pleasure. although my favorite remains "baby boy." gotta love gold lame.)


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