Jan 19, 2010

If I were someone else for a day...

So...last Saturday morning I woke up to Oliver crying loudly. It was 6am and Oliver was letting the world know he was ready to start his day. So what did I do? I clenched my eyes sooooo tight, hid underneath the covers, and ignored it.

I don't want to be a mommy today! Today, I wish and pray I am a famous actress starring on Broadway about to deliver a mind blowing Mom-o-logue about..."A Day Off."

Curtain opens and there I am standing center stage under a spotlight.

I begin:

A day off from diapers
A day off from boogers,
A day off from hardened oatmeal stains
on Oliver's pajamers.

A day off from sippy-cup parts
and little socks,
A day off from paper towels
and wooden blocks.

A long shower
complete with deep conditioner,
Maybe a hair glaze, bath oil
and Creme del la Mer moistur-izer.

I'd then put on my most pretty bra
and my kitten heels,
I'm a women you see, lest I forget,
On to Sephora for steals!

I would get a pedicure and massage,
and afterwards hit The Met.
I would cook up a great french dinner,
maybe even a souflet.

At night I'd welcome my husband home
relaxed and so carefree!
Because of my wonderful day off,
I took care of me me me!

Me, me, me, me,
me, me, me.
I took care of me,
me, me, me, me.

blah blah blah blah
me me me.
whoop de do dah,
me me me.

The end.

Audience: Clap, clap, clap. Encore! Roses all over the stage.
Me: I bow politely. Thank you! Thank you! I love you too!)

I then lifted the covers off of my head and threw my hair into a ponytail. Like the day before and the day before that I shimmied into my yoga pants and walked into Oliver's room. There he was. Standing up, smiling and...clapping!

Was this a standing ovation?

I'm no famous actress with thousands clapping for me, but there is nothing like walking into a room with dirty hair and no make up on and getting a little applause from the most important critic in the house.

What'd I do? I bowed. And then I wiped away his boogers.

What gets your Mama mojo back on track?
Leave a comment, email me, and I'll post the best ones!


  1. A "me day" sounds like fun, and you are correct. Little guy is the most important critic.

  2. oh, most def.
    if he's not happy, no one's happy. if he's not sleeping, no one's sleeping. But if he's not eating, well, we still eat.

  3. I LOVE the standing ovation... nothing like a toddler to change your perspective... (btw I have missed your blog... don't know you, just happened to stumble on it one day and was hooked)
    My mama mojo is put back on track when he comes running open arms and squealing when you walk in the door... esp if he is running open mouthed to plant a big ole slobbery kiss.

  4. Thanks so much Missallizoom! You have made my day! I took a break because I got overwhelmed but I am determined to keep it going this time! I too LOOOOVE the run into my arms. I can't get enough of that!


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